bullying Archives - MINES and Associates https://minesandassociates.com/tag/bullying/ An International Business Psychology Firm Wed, 18 Oct 2023 18:05:40 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.5.5 Bullying Awareness: What to Do if You’re the Victim https://minesandassociates.com/bullying-awareness-what-to-do-if-youre-the-victim/ https://minesandassociates.com/bullying-awareness-what-to-do-if-youre-the-victim/#respond Mon, 02 Oct 2023 09:00:24 +0000 https://minesandassociates.com/?p=5481 We often think of bullying as a problem that primarily affects children. You might imagine a schoolyard bully who threatens other kids with violence or steals lunch money. In reality, bullying goes far beyond this cliche media trope. Bullying is a problem that affects people of all ages, including adults. Unfortunately, the workplace is one [...]

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]]> We often think of bullying as a problem that primarily affects children. You might imagine a schoolyard bully who threatens other kids with violence or steals lunch money.

In reality, bullying goes far beyond this cliche media trope. Bullying is a problem that affects people of all ages, including adults. Unfortunately, the workplace is one of the main places where bullying happens. In these settings, bullying doesn’t typically look like it does when it happens between young children.

Instead, you might find yourself being ostracized or deliberately left out of social “cliques” at work. You might be on the receiving end of mean jokes or feel like you have a target on your back when it comes to discipline.

If you’re getting bullied at work, here’s what you need to know, including your options for moving forward.

If you’re an employer or manager who wants to learn about how to prevent workplace bullying in your organization, read our blog from last year’s Bullying Awareness Month and contact MINES & Associates for mental health counseling services.

How do I know if it’s workplace bullying or harassment?

One question that many employees have is regarding the differences between workplace bullying and harassment. The truth is that the answer to this question is complex. Bullying and harassment often overlap, and the differences between them can depend on a variety of things.

The term harassment typically has legal connotations in the workplace. Your organization may have a zero-tolerance policy against workplace harassment, including discrimination, sexual harassment, whistleblower retaliation, and more.

Many bullying behaviors could be seen as harassment, especially when the victim is part of a protected class. But what’s legally considered “harassment” differs across states, and specific bullying behaviors may or may not be protected under anti-harassment laws where you live.

This doesn’t change the fact that both harassment and workplace bullying are harmful, and neither one has any place in the workplace. However – unfortunately – you may not have the same legal rights and protections if the bullying behavior you’re facing doesn’t qualify under your state’s harassment laws.

What to do if you’re the victim of workplace bullying

If you’ve been targeted by workplace bullying, there are ways to get through it. Being bullied can be an incredibly isolating experience, and it might feel to you like there’s nowhere to turn for support. But there are some steps you can take to protect yourself.

Consider counseling services

MINES & Associates offers mental health counseling services for victims of workplace bullying. We are here to support and improve the mental health of all our clients one step at a time.

Keep a record

It might be the last thing on your mind when you’re being bullied, but it’s important to keep a written journal of bullying incidents. Keep track of the details like when bullying happened, what happened, who the aggressor was, and who else observed or knew about it. Keeping a written log of all workplace bullying incidents can protect you down the road when you may need to provide this information for legal protection.

Know your rights

Harassment laws differ from state to state, but your organization may also have its own rules and regulations around workplace bullying. For example, specific behaviors like name-calling or starting rumors could be prohibited at your job.

Review your employee handbook and learn the policies of your workplace. You can also consider consulting with your human resources department or an outside legal team to figure out whether you may be protected by the law.

Don’t retaliate

When you’re being bullied, it’s easy for feelings of anger and resentment to make you want to get back at the person who’s making your life miserable. You might be tempted to retaliate against the bully, but this may not be a good idea. If you need to bring bullying behaviors to management or even to a legal team outside of your job, then any retaliation behaviors could hurt your case.

As hard as it is, stay away from responding to violence with violence. Do what you need to to keep a cool head. If you find yourself needing further support, consider working with a mental health professional who offers counseling services.

Consider having an informal conversation

If you feel safe to do so, you can consider approaching the bullying through an informal conversation with the aggressor first. You can talk to the bully about how their behavior makes you feel and ask them to stop.

For example, you could say something like: “I’m not sure what your intentions are, but I don’t appreciate it when you talk about me behind my back. I want to give you the benefit of the doubt, but it hurts my feelings and makes me less effective at work. Please stop. If you don’t, I’ll need to file a formal complaint.”

Take it to HR or management

If your bully doesn’t stop after you’ve talked to them, or if the bullying has gotten so severe that you don’t feel safe approaching them yourself, it may be time to take the issue to your HR department or your manager.  Your workplace leaders should help you decide how you want to proceed and help you put an end to this behavior.

Things can get a bit trickier if you don’t feel safe with your manager; in some cases, it could even be your manager who is doing the bullying. In these cases, you can consult with third parties like your union rep, a legal representative, or a professional organization.

Call authorities if you’re in danger

Bullying behaviors range from excluding you from workplace cliques to active physical or emotional violence. If you are being physically harmed, or someone is threatening you with physical harm, then leave the situation immediately. Call the police if you feel like your life, health, or safety are in danger.

Take care of your mental health with counseling services

Lastly, keep in mind that being on the receiving end of bullying can be incredibly damaging psychologically. You’re probably carrying around a lot of stress and emotional pain, and it’s very important to make sure you’re taking care of yourself during this time.

A mental health counseling services professional can provide a safe space where you can explore your thoughts and feelings around the bullying and help you find a way forward. Counselors can also help you challenge any negative self-talk that might have arisen from being bullied. For example, they can help you understand that the bullying is not your fault.

Being the victim of workplace bullying can be very isolating and lonely, but you don’t have to go through this alone. MINES & Associates provides all of our EAP clients with 24/7 free and confidential counseling services. No one at your workplace will know that you talked to us, and we can support you through this very difficult time.

 

To Your Wellbeing,

The MINES Team

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]]> https://minesandassociates.com/bullying-awareness-what-to-do-if-youre-the-victim/feed/ 0 Anti-Bullying Awareness: How Can We Stop Bullying in the Workplace? https://minesandassociates.com/anti-bullying-awareness-how-can-we-stop-bullying-in-the-workplace/ https://minesandassociates.com/anti-bullying-awareness-how-can-we-stop-bullying-in-the-workplace/#respond Wed, 16 Nov 2022 16:57:00 +0000 https://minesblog.wordpress.com/?p=4592 Unfortunately, bullying in the workplace is all too common. Reports show that around a third of all American employees have been bullied at work. But what can we do to stop it? This Anti-Bullying Awareness Week, MINES & Associates discusses the complexities of workplace bullying and how organizations can address it. What does bullying [...]

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Unfortunately, bullying in the workplace is all too common. Reports show that around a third of all American employees have been bullied at work. But what can we do to stop it?

This Anti-Bullying Awareness Week, MINES & Associates discusses the complexities of workplace bullying and how organizations can address it.

What does bullying in the workplace look like?

Bullying behaviors in the workplace can be covert or subtle. It’s important to notice the more subtle signs of bullying because they often go under the radar. Covert bullying, like calling people malicious names, may meet the legal definition of harassment (and could be punishable). But more subtle forms of bullying can be just as damaging.

The Harvard Business Review identified 15 different features of bullying behaviors that commonly arise in the workplace. These features categorize the goals, dimensions, and costs of workplace bullying.

The HBR’s 15 features of workplace bullying are:

Goal/Motivation

1. Hostile bullying: bullying that comes out of a personal feeling of dislike toward a person; things like screaming at someone, throwing things, spreading hatred about a colleague’s identity, lying to get someone fired due to personal hatred, and more

2. Instrumental bullying: bullying to achieve something more pragmatic; things like spreading rumors and lies about someone to gain their office space or get a promotion over them

Immediacy

3. Direct bullying: bullying done to someone’s face; physical harm, yelling, openly humiliating or blaming, etc.

4. Indirect bullying: bullying done behind someone’s back; spreading rumors, withholding important information, secretly sabotaging, etc.

Visibility

5. Overt; bullying that is more obvious, like calling people names, humiliating them in front of others, laughing at them, etc.

6. Covert; more subtle bullying like gaslighting, withholding important information, subtly blaming or humiliating them in the name of “workplace competition

Targeting

7. Downward bullying: the bully is a manager or boss and the victim is a subordinate (65% of cases)

8. Horizontal bullying: bullying between work peers

9. Upward bullying: bullying of the boss by subordinates

10. Mixed bullying: bullying goes in multiple directions

Costs

11. Physical: burnout, disability, calling out sick, fatigue

12. Psychological: mental health consequences like depression, anxiety, insomnia, and PTSD

13. Social: loss of reputation, friendships, networks, trust

14. Economic: potential loss of income for the employee

15. Organizational: the business also loses revenue and productivity, and may need to deal with legal and high employee turnover issues

On top of these features that can help you understand and categorize workplace bullying issues, it might also be helpful to know what, specifically, workplace bullying can look like. Some specific workplace bullying behaviors include:

     

      • Spreading lies or rumors about someone

      • Yelling at someone

      • Silencing someone during a meeting

      • Assigning an unnecessary amount of work to one person that you know they aren’t willing to take on

      • Unwarranted or undeserved punishment

      • Belittling someone

      • Making offensive jokes or comments

      • Purposely giving the wrong information so that someone fails

      • Deliberately impeding or sabotaging someone’s work

      • Excluding someone socially (like refusing to invite them to lunch with the whole team)

      • Placing impossible-to-meet deadlines or expectations on someone so that they fail

      • Constantly changing guidelines and projects to confuse someone

      • Underworking someone – not signing them any tasks and making them useless in the workplace

      • Talking about someone behind their back

      • Demoting someone for no real reason

      • Intruding on someone’s privacy (for example by reading through their emails)

      • Blocking applications for things (like training and events) that will help the person succeed

    What can we do about workplace bullying?

    According to a report by the Workplace Bullying Institute (WBI), most Americans feel that employers don’t respond positively to claims of workplace bullying. According to the report, 63% of respondents said that their employers either:

       

        • Encourage

        • Rationalize

        • Ignore

        • Deny

        • or Discount

      Workplace bullying claims

      It may be surprising to you that any employer would actively encourage workplace bullying. Sadly, this is more common than you may think. Some employers may feel like this type of behavior is necessary for fostering “healthy competition” in the workplace.

      And unfortunately, only 6% of the report’s respondents said that the bullying came to an end due to actions taken by the employer. Over 65% of them said that the bullying only ended when they left the workplace, either “voluntarily” (to escape bullying) or forcibly.

      The first step to ending workplace bullying may be for both employers and employees to let go of the idea that workplace bullying is healthy or beneficial in any way. As we discussed earlier, workplace bullying can have serious consequences for both the employee being bullied as well as the organization as a whole.

      It’s also unhelpful to try to ignore, deny, discount, or otherwise sweep workplace bullying under the proverbial rug. Even if the behaviors don’t meet the legal definition of workplace harassment, you may lose a valuable employee, and the sense of trust in the workplace may be broken.

      So what are some more positive approaches to workplace bullying claims?

      The WBI states that positive reactions from the employer include acknowledgment, elimination, and condemnation of bullying.

         

          • Acknowledgment of bullying – First, acknowledge that it’s happening. If an employee comes to you with claims of workplace bullying, take them seriously – even when it’s a veteran senior employee being accused. Validate the victim’s feelings and let them know that you will investigate. In addition, the burden of proof should not be on the victim.

          • Elimination – There are many ways you could eliminate bullying in the workplace. Providing training on communication skills may be a good start. If the bullying is ongoing, the perpetrator themselves may need to be removed from the workplace. But wider changes may need to be made in order to eliminate the culture of bullying altogether. For example, you could use online co-creation tools to make it clear who was responsible for what (to avoid blame or credit-taking).

          • Condemnation – Make it clear that your workplace does not stand for bullying. Pay attention to subtle signs of covert or indirect bullying. Implementing a zero-tolerance policy is one example of condemnation. However, the WBI warns that such a policy in an organizational culture with a history of bullying will be ineffective. Changing such a culture requires extensive training and coaching.

        What employees can do: Reach out to your EAP

        If you are being bullied at work, then there are several ways you can approach it. Firstly, if it was a one-time incident, you may want to think about talking to your bully directly. You can communicate how you felt about the event and ask them not to repeat it.

        However, many people feel uncomfortable talking directly to their bully, especially if the bullying has been going on for a long time. In these cases, you can talk to your direct manager or your Human Resources department to ask for support.

        You can also contact your Employee Assistance Program (EAP) for emotional support. MINES & Associates provides free and confidential counseling, and our licensed counselors are available 24/7. You can talk to us about what you’re going through at work, and we guarantee that the information you give us will never be shared with your employer.

         

        To Your Wellbeing,

        – The MINES Team

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        ]]>         https://minesandassociates.com/anti-bullying-awareness-how-can-we-stop-bullying-in-the-workplace/feed/ 0         Empathy for Bullies https://minesandassociates.com/empathy-for-bullies/ https://minesandassociates.com/empathy-for-bullies/#respond Wed, 11 May 2016 16:23:09 +0000 https://minesblog.wordpress.com/?p=3431 We have all grown up with at least one kid in school whose main goal in life was to terrorize our classmates in any and every way possible. Some of us feared this kid. Some of us hated this kid. And for the rest of us, there was likely a level of indifference for this [...]

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        ]]>         Kick Me

        We have all grown up with at least one kid in school whose main goal in life was to terrorize our classmates in any and every way possible. Some of us feared this kid. Some of us hated this kid. And for the rest of us, there was likely a level of indifference for this kid because, for some reason, we managed to stay out of sight enough to not be one of his victims. In any case, we definitely didn’t want to be one of their targets.  But how many of us can say that we had an ounce of empathy for the class bully? I know I never did. Any time something unfortunate happened to this bully, such as getting a referral to the office or getting suspended, there was always this feeling of redemption and that justice had been served! There was a sense of relief. That is, until the bully returned to school….

        Bullying has become a pervasive part of our school communities. The bullying epidemic has become so pronounced that anti-bullying campaigns and programs have been forged to help protect the victims of bullies. But, what about the bullies themselves? How are we addressing the deeper rooted issues that cause these children to violate the boundaries of their peers? Quite often, behind every bully is an even bigger bully. Bullying behavior is learned and most bullies are being bullied themselves. In addition, it is often likely that bullies are suffering from some type of mental health or learning disability, which can impact their cognition, their ability to accurately interpret social interactions and cues, and their ability to properly identify and effectively communicate their feelings. When the consequences for bullying behavior are reactive rather than proactive, we find ourselves unintentionally perpetuating the bullying cycle. This in turn makes it difficult to be tolerant of, and patient with, children who engage in bullying behavior.

        We start to label these children as “bad children.” We write them off and decide their fates for them because we are unaware of how to support them. The first way we can show empathy for bullies is to separate the child from the behavior. There is no such thing as a “bad child.” There is only bad behavior. Another way we can find empathy for bullies is to find out which positive adult role model the child likes most (i.e. school staff, family member, community member, etc.) and use that relationship to foster positive behaviors and interactions with others. Also, try and recognize and acknowledge any positive or desired behaviors, no matter how small or insignificant they may be. Positive reinforcement can go a long way. These are, by no means, a cure all for the bulling epidemic that is happening in our society. However, these are a couple of helpful examples that may enable us to have more compassion and empathy for bullies.

         

        To Your Wellbeing,

        Ashley Wiggins, MSW

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        ]]>         https://minesandassociates.com/empathy-for-bullies/feed/ 0         Psychology of Performance #51: Incivility & Bullying in the Workplace https://minesandassociates.com/psychology-of-performance-51-incivility-bullying-in-the-workplace/ https://minesandassociates.com/psychology-of-performance-51-incivility-bullying-in-the-workplace/#respond Thu, 19 Mar 2015 17:13:38 +0000 https://minesblog.wordpress.com/?p=3269 Incivility and bullying at work can have a significant negative impact on work performance. It is still a significant problem in many organizations and in society at large. Just this morning in the Denver Post was an article about a number of junior varsity baseball players at Columbine High School,  of all places given its [...]

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        ]]>         Incivility and bullying at work can have a significant negative impact on work performance. It is still a significant problem in many organizations and in society at large. Just this morning in the Denver Post was an article about a number of junior varsity baseball players at Columbine High School,  of all places given its history, who allegedly video recorded a racist rap routine after beating East High school in a game. For those of you not familiar with East High School, it is known for its diversity. These players were suspended for a range of days.  As a concerning example, the Columbine shootings were in part related to bullying.

        This is not related to high schools as a workplace, nor just to adolescents. It continues into adulthood. There is unfortunately too much data on the results of incivility and bullying in the workplace. It can range from rude comments and insensitive actions, to physical acts including assault and battery, as well as from thoughtless intent to malicious intent; all of which result in physical or psychological harm to the recipient. The following are a quick synopsis of impact variables.

        Business and personal costs to the individual

        • Business work performance problems
        • Quitting Job and Starting Over Somewhere Else
        • Stress related health costs increase
          • Stress
          • Negative emotions like fear, anger, anxiety, hatred
          • Loss of productivity to concentration issues, preoccupation with the situation, lost work time, sick time, presenteeism,
        • Shock
        • Guilt
        • Lowered self-esteem
        • Depression
        • Decreased motivation
        • Physical complaints
        • 82% of employees targeted by bullies leave the workplace.
        • 38% who leave, do so for health issues
        • 72% of disrespectful behavior is done by those in leadership positions
        • 57% of targets are women.
        • 45% of targets had stress-related health problems
        • 39% had debilitating anxiety, panic attacks, and clinical depression
        • 30% had post traumatic stress
        • Physical headaches, cardiac, aches, weight change, CFS, TMJ, skin, asthma/allergies, IBS, hair loss, fibromyalgia, high blood pressure, ulcers, fatigue.
        • Targets have a 64% chance of losing their job for no reason.
        • Despite health harm, 40% of targets never report bullying. It is even higher here.

        Business cost of incivility and bullying

        • High turnover
        • Low productivity
        • Absenteeism
        • Benefits misused
        • Low morale
        • Poor public image, reputation damaged
        • Lawsuits
        • Organization’s values and policies compromised and violated
        • Financial viability reduced

        For those who think incivility and bullying are over stated and not a problem, open your eyes to the following graphic on the continuum of behavior.

        The Incivility Continuum

        Kirsten Schwehm, PhD, Louisiana State University, topic: Civility in the Workplace. Accessed in 2013.

         

        If you are not personally convinced that your organization needs to pay attention to the impact of incivility and bullying in your workplace the following information may help convince you and your organization to look more deeply into the reasons for addressing it through good management practices, policy, and culture changes.

        Business Case for the organization to have a civil and safe environment

        • Healthier employees
        • Lower turnover
        • Higher productivity
        • Better financial viability

        Business case for the individual

        • Safety
        • Psychological wellbeing
        • Interaction effects with others
        • Career longevity
        • Job satisfaction
        • Positive morale

        We all are interdependent with each other at all levels. Practically speaking, we all make our living together. What affects one of us, directly or indirectly affects all of us.

        Remember to stay calm, centered and serene in your interactions with all those you meet today!

        Robert A. Mines, Ph.D., CEO & Psychologist

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