Preparing your child for back-to-school: A mental health checklist

As parents, we often focus on the practical aspects of back-to-school: getting supplies ready, learning new schedules, and so forth. But for both parents and kids, the hardest part of returning to school is often coping with the change and its effects on mental health.

Change is hard for kids. That’s why predictability and routines are so highly emphasized by childhood development experts; when a child’s life is predictable, they feel safe. This doesn’t mean that transitions and changes can’t be navigated successfully – but you might have to make sure you’re supporting your child’s mental health throughout this process.

Here’s a checklist of some things you can do to help your child navigate the big change of “back-to-school” with courage and resilience.

• Establish a routine: Start establishing a consistent routine a few weeks before school starts to make the change more gradual. This includes regular bedtimes, wake-up times, and meal times. A predictable routine can help your child feel more secure and reduce anxiety.
• Discuss expectations: Talk to your child about what to expect when school starts. Discuss their new schedule, any changes in transportation, and what their daily routine will look like. Knowing what to expect can help reduce anxiety.
• Encourage open communication: Create a safe space for your child to express their feelings about going back to school. Let them know it’s okay to feel nervous, excited, or even scared. Validate their feelings instead of minimizing them. For example, try to avoid saying things like, “It’ll be fine,” or “There’s nothing to worry about.”
• Visit the school campus: If it’s possible, consider going with your child to visit the school before the first day. Show your child where their classroom is, the cafeteria, the bathrooms, etc. When your child is familiar with their environment, they may be less anxious.
• Role-play scenarios: Role-play different school scenarios with your child, such as meeting new classmates, asking the teacher for help, or dealing with a difficult situation. This can help them feel more prepared and confident.
• Create a worry jar: Encourage your child to write down their worries about school and put them in a ‘worry jar.’ Set aside a specific time each day to go through the worries together and come up with strategies to deal with them. This can help open
• Practice relaxation techniques: Teach your child simple relaxation techniques like deep breathing, mindfulness, or muscle relaxation strategies. These techniques can be used anywhere, even at their desk, and can be a good coping skill if they start to feel overwhelmed at school.
• Focus on the positives: Without undermining your child’s anxiety or stress, try to help them focus on the positives of back-to-school. What are some things, however minor, that they’re excited about?
• Create a visual schedule: Especially for younger children, create a visual schedule for the first few weeks of school can be helpful. Include activities, school hours, and any special events. This can help your child visualize their day and feel more in control.
• Establish a calming bedtime routine: Getting enough restful sleep is essential to mental health. A calming bedtime routine can help your child unwind and get a good night’s sleep. Consider activities like reading a book, listening to soothing music, or practicing relaxation exercises.
• Prepare a comfort item: If it’s okay with their teacher, allow your child to bring a small comfort item to school, such as a keychain, a small toy, or a family photo. This is sometimes called a transitional object, and can provide a sense of security and familiarity in a new environment. Transitional objects can also help with separation anxiety.
• Monitor and adjust: Even if their first day back at school goes well, continue to regularly check in with your child to see how they’re coping with the transition. Be flexible and ready to adjust your approach based on their needs and feedback.

Tips for parents during back-to-school season

As hard as back-to-school season can be for kids, it can be just as challenging – if not more so – for parents. Back-to-school brings up a wide range of emotions, from relief (you’ll get some of your free time back!) to sadness and anxiety (you’ll miss having your child at home with you, and you’re nervous about how they’ll fare at school).

As a parent, it’s important to take care of yourself, too. While you go through the above mental health checklist to support your child at this time, make sure you’re also paying attention to how you feel and any support that you might need to cope well with this transition.

These tips for parents may help:

• Allow all emotions to be present, even if they’re uncomfortable. It’s normal to feel a mix of relief, sadness, anxiety, and excitement as your child heads back to school. Accepting and acknowledging these emotions without judgment can help you process them more effectively and provide a healthy model for your child.
• Let go of perfectionism – the first day of school will probably be chaotic; to keep your sanity, it may help to remember that this day doesn’t need to be “Pinterest-perfect.” Embrace the messiness and focus on what truly matters: your child’s well-being and happiness. A few forgotten items or a rushed breakfast won’t overshadow the love and support you provide.
• Maintain a consistent routine for yourself to help manage stress and keep things predictable. Establishing regular self-care practices, such as exercise, meditation, or reading, can provide stability and help you stay grounded during this transitional period.
• Communicate openly with your partner or other family members about how you’re feeling. Sharing your experiences and emotions can provide mutual support and help you feel less isolated. Working together as a team can make the back-to-school transition smoother for everyone involved.
• Allow yourself to seek professional help if needed. Talking to a counselor can help you identify and manage painful feelings that may arise as your little one goes off to school. A therapist or counselor can also provide tools and strategies to cope with anxiety, sadness, or other challenging emotions, and ensure that you’re well-supported during this time.

Reaching out to your EAP can be a great way to get mental health support during this transition as well as other challenging times you might face. At MINES & Associates, we offer 24/7 free and confidential counseling for our members, as well as parenting coaching services to help you navigate the back-to-school season and all the other challenges of being a parent.

MINES is wishing you and your family a happy 24-25 school year!

To Your Wellbeing,

The MINES Team

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Although mental health awareness overall has come a long way, we tend to leave infants and young children out of the conversation. But research shows that our littlest humans can face mental health challenges too – and the earlier we intervene, the better chance they have at growing into happy and thriving adults.

In today’s blog, we’ll cover the basics of early childhood mental health and give you some tips on how you can promote positive mental health in your own little ones.

What is early childhood mental health?

Early childhood mental health typically refers to the mental health of children between 0 to 8 years of age.

Many people are confused when they hear the term “early childhood mental health.” You might be off-put by the idea of young children being diagnosed with or treated for mental health disorders. After all, they’re only kids – right?

Sadly, many more young children live with mental health conditions than you might believe. Reports show that up to 17% of children are diagnosed with a mental illness before they’re 6. Even very young children show clear symptoms of anxiety disorders, depression, post-traumatic stress, and more.

But the topic of early childhood mental health doesn’t just affect children with mental health challenges. Mental health should be a priority for all children, especially during the important early childhood years when the brain is developing at a rapid pace. It’s not just about treating childhood mental illness – it’s about promoting strong mental health in all young children.

What do mental health problems look like in early childhood?

Young children can show signs of a wide range of mental health problems, from mood disorders to neurodivergence and sensory processing issues. Let’s look at some of the most common categories of early childhood mental health symptoms.

Attachment disorders and trauma

One of the most important things that happens during a baby’s life is the attachment they build with their caregiver(s). When there is neglect or abuse present in these relationships, then reactive attachment disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can develop.

Abuse and neglect can severely impact a child’s developing brain, stunt their growth, and lead to serious physical and mental health consequences further down the line.

In infants and young children, attachment and trauma-related disorders might look like:

• Severe separation anxiety
• Not being soothed when reunited with their caregiver(s)
• Being indiscriminately attached to any adult and showing no preference for their caregiver(s)
• Hypervigilance; being jumpy or easily startled
• Avoiding the caregiver(s)
• Themes of trauma in play

Feeding disorders

Feeding disorders Sometimes, difficulty with food and feeding is a physical health problem – but often, it’s related to the child’s mental health. Even so, leaving a feeding disorder untreated can lead to stunted growth and poor development in the muscles involved in swallowing.

An early childhood feeding disorder can look like:

• A lack of interest in food or eating
• Difficulty achieving a relaxed state while eating (for example, the infant may be overly agitated)
• Refusal of food
• Using mealtimes to interact with caregivers rather than to eat
• Avoidance of specific foods based on texture, taste, smell, or other features
• No age-appropriate interaction with caregivers (like eye contact) during mealtimes

Hyperactivity and ADHD

Over 250,000 U.S. children aged 3 to 5 are diagnosed with attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). This condition leads children to have difficulty regulating their focus and energy levels.

Some signs of ADHD in young children include:

• More tantrums and emotional outbursts than other children their age
• Constantly being in motion, even more than other young children
• Reckless behavior to the point of endangering themselves
• Aggression toward self or others
• Difficulty falling asleep or little need for sleep
• Extreme impatience with others
• Loses interest in activities after only a few moments, even activities of their choosing

Anxiety and depression

As unbelievable as it may seem to some, even infants can be depressed and anxious. Reports show that around 1 in 40 children aged 0 to 5 have depression. Depression in parents makes it more likely that the infant or child will also have depression.

Signs of depression and anxiety in infants and toddlers include:

• Regressing to a previous stage of development
• Being withdrawn or staring into space
• Not engaging socially with caregiver(s)
• Excessive whining
• No interest in developmentally appropriate toys and activities
• Clinginess
• Breath-holding in toddlers
• Sleep issues

What causes mental health problems in early childhood?

As is the case with teens and adults, there’s not one singular cause of early childhood mental health problems.

Experts say that many different factors come together to make some children more at risk for developing mental health issues, including:

• Genetics: Some children are genetically predisposed to developing mental health problems, but this doesn’t mean that every child with these genes will have issues 100% of the time. It simply means that they may be at higher risk.
• Toxic stress: Being exposed to traumatic and stressful events (like abuse and neglect) over and over again can lead to toxic stress. Toxic stress can severely damage a baby’s brain development and make it much more likely for children to develop mental health problems, either right away or later on down the road.
• Biological factors: Some early childhood mental health concerns, like ADHD or certain feeding disorders, are a direct result of biological differences in the brain.
• Family history and parental stress: Family history also comes into play. Babies whose parents have postpartum depression are more likely to have depression themselves.

What can we do to support early childhood mental health?

If you’re a parent, you’re probably asking yourself: What can I do to protect my baby’s mental health? How can I decrease the odds that my child will have mental health problems, either now or as an adult?

Although there are many factors outside of our control, there are many things that you can do as a parent to help promote your child’s brain and emotional development and protect their mental health.

• Build a secure attachment: Foster a secure attachment with your child by responding to their needs promptly and consistently. This helps them feel safe and loved.
• Create a safe home environment: Ensure that the home environment is safe, free from hazards, and provides a sense of security for your child. Consistency and predictability are key for building safety.
• Emotional regulation: Help your child learn to regulate their emotions by modeling appropriate emotional responses and providing comfort when they’re upset.
• Engage in play: Play isn’t just fun – it’s essential for a child’s development. Engage in age-appropriate play that encourages creativity, exploration, and social interaction.
• Create healthy routines: Establish consistent daily routines for feeding, sleeping, and playtime. Predictability can help children feel secure.
• Nutrition and sleep: Ensure that your child has a balanced diet and gets enough restful sleep. Both nutrition and rest are essential for mental health.
• Positive discipline: Use positive discipline strategies that focus on teaching and guiding rather than punishment. This helps your child learn boundaries without feeling shame or guilt.
• Read and communicate: Reading to your child and engaging in “baby talk” and conversations from an early age can enhance their language development and cognitive skills.
• Lean on your support system: Caring for an infant or toddler can be exhausting, and it’s important for you to take care of your own mental health and take breaks when you need them. Seek support from friends, family, or mental health professionals.
• Protect your own mental health: Your well-being is closely linked to your child’s well-being. Be aware of your own mental health and get counseling when you need it.
• Educate yourself: Learn as much as you can about child development and parenting techniques. Attend parenting classes or workshops if possible.
• Seek professional help: If you have concerns about your child’s behavior or development, don’t hesitate to consult a pediatrician or a child psychologist. Early intervention is critical in preventing these problems from getting worse.

At MINES, we want to help you and your child thrive and stay mentally healthy. We provide comprehensive Parental Coaching and Lactation Consultation services to help you be the best parent you can be for your precious little one.

Through our Parental Coaching program, you receive 4 phone coaching sessions per year to address the most challenging aspects of parenthood. Our experienced coaches are here to support you through any concerns that you may have about this journey.

If you need mental health support for yourself, you also have access to 24/7 free and confidential counseling with a licensed mental health provider.

Let’s all work together to protect the mental health of our youngest and most precious citizens.

To Your Wellbeing,

The MINES Team

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Here are ten blocks to listening that many of us often use. It can be helpful to be aware of your use of these blocks when communicating with your family:

• Mind Reading: Assuming you know what the other person feels and thinks without asking.
• Rehearsing: Planning what you want to say next and missing what is being said now.
• Filtering: Listening only to things that are important or relevant to you and ignoring the rest (even if it’s important to the other person).
• Judging: Evaluating the other person and what they say rather than really trying to understand how they see the world.
• Daydreaming:  Getting caught in fantasies or memories while someone is talking to you.
• Advising:  Looking for suggestions and solutions instead of listening and understanding.
• Sparring:  Invalidating the other person by arguing and debating.
• Being Right:  Resisting or ignoring any communication that suggests you are wrong or should change.
• Derailing:  Flat out changing the subject as soon as you hear anything that bothers or threatens you.
• Placating:  Agreeing too quickly (I know…you’re right… I’m sorry…) without really listening to the other person’s feelings or concerns.

~MINES HealthPsych Team

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