Communicate with Kindness!
“Sometimes it takes only one act of kindness and caring to change a person’s life.” – Jackie Chan Welcome to the December 2020 edition of TotalWellbeing, your guide to the 8 dimensions of wellbeing. We’re going to end this crazy year with a look at kindness and communicating respectfully with others. Sometimes communication with others is hard, even more so to do with kindness and respect. However, effective communication, especially when respectful/kind, can lead to more effective conversations, less misunderstandings, and better relationships. This is why it is important to understand the way you communicate as well as the communication styles of others. Check out the tips and articles below for advice on both of these important factors. Also, we want to remind everyone that we are smack dab in the middle of the holiday season which can be anything but peaceful and relaxing. In fact, it is one of the most stressful times of the year. If you or any of your household members are feeling the holiday strain this year, please give us a call and we can help with work/life balance needs, financial concerns, and stress management We are here to help! As a quick reminder, your online portal, PersonalAdvantage, also has helpful articles, tips, and resources on being kind, dealing with those that are not so kind, and communicating effectively. Please log on today for articles, self-help tools, health assessments, and more. To your total wellbeing (and Happy Holidays!) The MINES Team Keys to Effective Communication In order to connect with people and help them understand where you’re coming from, you have to do more than just state your point. Communication is complex, and often learning how to communicate effectively requires practice and skill. Fortunately, there are specific things you can do to build your communication toolbox. Follow the suggestions below to learn some of the key techniques and become a more thoughtful and effective communicator. Create an Atmosphere of Trust When speaking in a group, show others that you are a good communicator. Listen openly to each person; this will show people that you won’t embarrass them or twist their words. Try to avoid judgment or unnecessary criticism. If you do have to provide criticism, make it constructive. Give praise and positive feedback. Get Your Thoughts Together Do research beforehand. Create notes, know the pros and cons of what you are presenting, and do your homework on the subject. If necessary, use visual tools or documents that can help your audience understand. Be specific, accurate, and honest about the subject. Adjust to Your Audience Consider what the other person already knows. If you reach a point where communicating becomes difficult, try to keep communication lines open so everyone can come to a level of understanding. Try not to use jargon or terms that are too technical; only use language that your listeners can understand. Pick an appropriate place to talk. If the subject is personal, pick a private place. Invite Feedback Ask your listener what he thinks of a subject, how he just interpreted what was said, and how he feels about the issue. Invite feedback, constructive criticism, and ask about the pros and the cons of the idea at stake. Use Appropriate Tone of Voice and Body Language Adjust tone and body language as needed, as these two things can actually influence what the listener hears. Note if you sound urgent, hesitant, angry, pleased, calm, or belligerent. Only use tones that are appropriate. Check your body language. If you are avoiding eye contact, crossing your arms, fidgeting, or leaning in too close to the listener, you may not be sending an effective message. Remember, your Employee Assistance Program is here to help if you with any stress around difficult conversations or confrontations. This includes counseling, self-help tools, wellness coaching, and more. If you need additional information, or to access services, please call MINES and Associates at 1-800-873-7138 today. Also, PersonalAdvantage has a ton of great resources and FREE webinars.
Styles of Communication There’s a lot more to communicating than just knowing how to string words together and provide straight-forward answers to questions. It’s important to recognize that there are many different ways to communicate and that each way is dependent upon the individual. Whether you’re a manager working with a team or a team member working with your coworkers to reach a goal, here are the different communication styles you might encounter: The Director Looks for direct lines of communication and stays focused on tasks. Makes decisions quickly, confidently, and practically. Can be dominant in discussions, which may lead to being impatient and insensitive. Doesn’t like being questioned, especially if he or she is the one providing directions. Doesn’t waste time and sets goals to get things done quickly. The Team-Player Supports others. Has an enthusiasm that makes the individual approachable. Speaks with animated gestures. Is willing to make changes and be creative to reach goals. Thinks out loud and involves others in decisions. Desires to support others and is sensitive to their needs, making the person vulnerable to criticism. Decisions are based on personal wishes, needs, and desires and often lack details and follow-through. The Contributor Tends to support the decisions of others rather than provide his or her own direction. Is dependable, relaxed, and supportive. Listens carefully to what others have to say and provides genuine responses. Can be seen as being too passive or indecisive, because of his or her support of others. Doesn’t always share true feelings to keep from creating confrontation with others. The Thinker Is always prepared, ready to analyze, and searching for the details. Likes to make lists so that he or she can keep all of the facts out in the open. Strives for accuracy when trying to get his or her point across. May be too cautious or inflexible when it comes to making decisions. Adheres to high standards that others might find critical or insensitive to the needs of the group. Likes to ask questions and look for solutions to problems that others have overlooked.
Question of the Month Did you recognize what style of communicator you are from the styles above? Did you determine the styles of your coworkers or managers? Once you recognize the differences between how you and others pass along and interpret information, you can begin to see where there are positive and negative relationships between those styles and how to build solutions to any problems that stem from differences in communication styles.
If you or a member of your household needs assistance or guidance on any of these wellbeing topics, please call MINES & Associates, your EAP, today for free, confidential, 24/7 assistance at 800.873.7138.
This Month’s Focus Free Webinar: How to Have Difficult and Sensitive Conversations MINESblog: New to TW? Check out our past Blogs! National Alzheimer’s Awareness Update Back to School During the Pandemic Important Links COVID19 Resource Page Visit our BLOG MINES and Associates Current Training Catalog Balanced Living Magazine LinkedIn MINES Archives Contact Us Email MINES
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Thank you John Oliver and your staff for a significant public service on your show this week! Your commentary and excellent coverage of a major problem in substance use disorder and alcohol treatment will have an impact far beyond what the insurance and professional communities have been able to do.

MINES has patients who have gone out of network, received poor care, the payors have received outrageous bills, the patients are stuck with bills that can only result in medical bankruptcy and as you noted, people die in these disreputable facilities.  A major component that you pointed out is patient brokering. When people Google substance abuse/use treatment, the top 20-30 are facilities, mostly in Florida and California, or are patient brokers. Reputable facilities in the person’s community do not even make the list. Then the facilities sometimes even pay the airfare to fly the patient to their facility and if the patient does not meet medical necessity for that level of care, the facility turns them out on the street to find their own way back to the state/community they live in.

You mentioned addictionologists as a resource for finding reputable care. In addition, Employee Assistance Programs as well as managed behavioral health services (insurance) are knowledgeable and informed about substance use and alcohol treatment. They know which facilities and programs are in network with the insurance and which ones do a good job.

Evidence-based treatment supports the use of a continuum of care from outpatient, intensive outpatient, partial hospitalization, residential and detox (medical and social detox). There are medications that also contribute to sobriety and health.

These are chronic illnesses/conditions that require the patients to cope with all their lives. Learning relapse prevention and adherence skills are essential.

If you decide to delve into this national problem further in a future episode, I would be happy to consult with you and your team.

The following clip may be not suitable for some work environments:

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWQiXv0sn9Y]

Resource:

This is a link to a pdf of an article published by the Self Insurance Institute of America on predatory treatment facilities and managed behavioral healthcare strategies for helping the patients and the payors. http://www.minesandassociates.com/documents/Predatory_Facility_Article.pdf

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Today marks the release of the Emoji Movie. Reviews have been less than great, but love it or hate it, the movie’s central theme marks an interesting part of today’s communication methods and a sort of cultural phenomenon, the Emoji. Emojis have been around in Japan since the late 1990s but it wasn’t until 2013 when Emojis became available in all operating systems for phones and computers (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emoji). Emoji characters have led the charge for expressing oneself through pictures and being able to show how you are feeling depending on the situation.

This phenomenon has expanded into musicals (Emojiland), into TV shows, like Doctor Who’s episode “Smile”, and they are now even on the big screen with The Emoji Movie today.

Emoji-Speak

Emoji characters can say a lot in one character. You are able to express your inner feelings or use the secret Emoji language to ask things. The psychology behind this is fascinating and it will be interesting to see how pop culture will continue to influence these characters. You can instantly let someone know you are not happy with them and that email you sent that could be interpreted a few ways, really only should be interpreted in the fashion of the emoji sent.

Emoji-Evolution

One really interesting thing about emojis is how they have evolved to reflect the increasingly complex and nuanced use of emojis over time. What started as an inventory of simple smiley faces and objects have expanded into thousands of specific images representative of the population and communication styles that utilize them. We can see this in the ever-increasing inventory of emojis meant to represent various ethnicities, religions, occupations, and even sexual orientation. You can now find almost any combination of family structure and romantic couple in emoji form. On top of that, the different food emojis have expanded to include exotic and uncommon foods, a plethora of fruits and veggies, and of course the ever-popular pizza and burger icons. And that only scratches the surface when you look at the overwhelming number of facial expressions/smileys, animal variations, transportation, country flags, and event icons.

Emoji-Symbolism

Not only have the number of emojis increased dramatically over time but their use and meaning in the minds of users have as well. Many emojis today carry a meaning other than that of their literal form. For instance, fire or heart emojis can and are used to express love and affection, the various facial expressions carry with them all sorts of context dependent meanings, many icons of inanimate objects and food have a double meaning such as the use of the syringe icon to mean doctor or tattoo, while others carry sexual suggestiveness. Thanks to common use and social visibility of the internet, these double meaning have become widespread and understood, and is used similarly to an icon-based version of slang. But not just slang, slang that can be understood across languages and cultures.

Emoji-Communication

The biggest question is how do emoji characters fit into your work emails and communications. When you text that you are going to be out because you are sick, is using an emoj like the below good enough?With as many generations and generational differences the workplace is dealing with right now, using emojis is another example of what the younger generations (Millennials, and Gen Z) might find acceptable whereas Generation x and baby boomers may struggle with getting an email or text that you are sick. So where is the line? Is it ok to put a smiley face at the end of an email or an embarrassed face when you gave the wrong information, or do you still need to apologize and say you are embarrassed?

Emoji-Implications

The implications are endless and it will be fascinating to see where our workplace norms in regards to using Emoji characters go. I think the main thing to take away and think about when you are writing a communication, no matter what form that communication is in, is who your audience is and what type of communication it is. If your audience is a business associate outside your company, using an emoji may not be such a great idea. If you are writing a cease letter, you probably shouldn’t use:

Emoji-Conclusions

As you discover and consider the role Emojis play in your life, take the time to discuss it with others around you. It is fascinating to see what the different generations think of emojis and using symbols to show your emotions rather than just stating them. It is not only a great conversation piece and will help your social and intellectual wellbeing, it is a great opportunity to learn from others and think about their perspective to help influence how you will use them in the future.

To your wellbeing,

The MINES Team

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I was exposed to traveling at a very early age and was always deeply appreciative that my parents expanded my horizons and perspectives through global travel. I’m sure my mom wasn’t completely surprised when I told her I had bought a one-way ticket to New Zealand and wasn’t sure when I would be back. And, sure enough, after two years of traveling out of a backpack, returned home to start graduate school. I loved the sense of intrigue and mystery that came with traveling to exotic lands and far away places.

I also came home with a profound sense of appreciation for the global diversity that we have right here! Looking at situations from a new perspective, asking open ended questions to understand a different point of view, and being curious about someone’s background or beliefs are all windows towards creating a sense of belonging to a global community. I feel so fortunate that much of the work I do in BizPysch – be it executive coaching, diversity training, or providing conflict mediation services – are all ways to build bridges and create a sense of community and connection.

Now, I’m getting ready to embark on another global adventure. As a parent who is committed to raising a “global citizen,” I am getting ready to move overseas with my son. We will be gone for a little less than a year and during that time we will both be students learning a new language and embracing a completely different way of living. There are so many ways to embrace global diversity, be it participating in a cooking class with foods from another country, learning a new language, seeing a foreign film, reading books about other countries, or following your curiosity by exploring new places on the internet!  I trust I will return with a new set of perspectives which is what makes traveling and experiencing different cultures, no matter how you choose to do it, so exciting!

Marcia Kent, MS
President, BizPsych

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