November once again ushers in not only the holiday season, but National Alzheimer’s Awareness Month.   Every November, I look forward to sharing my thoughts with you as we observe this period of heightened awareness for Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia.  In fact, this November is the 36^th anniversary of this designation.  President Reagan, who later died of Alzheimer’s disease, initiated this month of awareness for dementia back in 1983.  We have learned a great deal about dementia since then and of course, since Alzheimer’s disease was originally discovered in 1906 by Dr. Alois Alzheimer.  Over 5.8 million Americans are currently living with Alzheimer’s disease.  It is the 6^th leading cause of death in our country and someone develops the disease every 65 seconds.

So look around you this November and you will see more buildings than ever lit in purple to call attention to Alzheimer’s.  Capitol domes across the nation will turn purple this month and sports venues will be bathed in purple as well to acknowledge the vast effect of dementia on American families.  You may notice Mayors and Governors sporting purple scarves or ties and awareness ads on television and social media.  It is hard to find anyone these days who has not been affected by dementia in their immediate or extended families or among their networks of friends and coworkers.

And so…as we take a moment to reflect on those people in our lives who have suffered from Alzheimer’s or other dementias, we can also acknowledge that optimism for a breakthrough has never been stronger.  Our National Alzheimer’s Plan calls for prevention, treatment, and cure by 2025 and many in the scientific and medical fields believe this goal is attainable.  I am a Public Policy Ambassador to Capitol Hill for the Alzheimer’s Association and can attest through my visits to Washington DC that this is a completely nonpartisan issue.  Congress is in complete agreement about the need to eliminate Alzheimer’s disease which costs our nation $290 billion each year caring for those with dementia.  Congress is allocating more and more funding each year, now providing around $2.6 billion to the National Institute of Health for dementia research.

As a reminder of why the goal for a world without Alzheimer’s is my passion, three of four parents in my immediate family were diagnosed with Alzheimer’s within a year and a half of each other.  They lived for 16, 14, and 11 years with the disease and I was their family caregiver throughout our dementia journey.  Our last “Lovie” left us five years ago, and I will never forget them.  I will also never forget the challenges we faced together through early, middle and late stages of Alzheimer’s disease and vascular dementia.

Of course with November also comes planning for Thanksgiving feasts and preparations for Christmas, Hanukah and Kwanzaa celebrations.  It is a time of year when we share memories of holidays past with family and friends, but for some, those memories are difficult to recall due to Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia.  Therefore, it is only fitting that as we anticipate the upcoming holiday season, we pause in November to heighten community awareness for memory-robbing diseases and renew our pledge to fight until these conditions have been eradicated.

This November in particular, I am filled with hope that dementia itself may someday soon become a distant memory.  I have never been more optimistic than I am right now that the breakthrough is on the horizon. There are more clinical dementia trials in Phase III than ever before.  The scientific and medical communities are thinking outside the box with regard to research.  A large pharmaceutical company has just approached the FDA for approval for a promising drug treatment.  Advancements in diagnostics are making the early detection of Alzheimer’s disease a reality.  We believe that one-quarter of all hospitalizations for those with dementia could be prevented by diagnosis.  Our loved ones with dementia can also stay independent longer if they are reminded to take medications for other health issues and if precautions are taken to remove fall hazards from their homes.

But while we wait for the big news of a breakthrough, (when it occurs, I am throwing a party for the whole world, so you will all be invited!), it is more important than ever to understand the warning signs for dementia and the lifestyle changes we can make to reduce our risk.

The key warning signs or symptoms are:

• Memory loss
• Challenges with Problem Solving
• Difficulty Completing Familiar Tasks
• Confusion with Time or Place
• Visual or Spatial Difficulties
• Problems with Words
• Increased Problems with Misplacing Things
• Decreased or Poor Judgment
• Withdrawal from Activities
• Changes in Mood or Personality

If you see any of these signs on a regular basis in yourself or others, see a doctor immediately.  While it might not be Alzheimer’s or dementia, it could be something that requires immediate attention.  If it is dementia, there are many benefits to early detection and diagnosis.

And perhaps the most exciting news is that our lifestyle choices can have an impact on risk reduction or delaying the onset of Alzheimer’s disease.  Adopting the following twelve lifestyle habits “will probably” influence our risk for dementia versus the “might possibly” promises of the past.

Regular Cardio Exercise – Be sure to check with your physician before beginning an exercise regimen to make sure it is safe based on your overall health.

Diet – Eating fruits, vegetables, and lean proteins vs. fatty meats, fried, sugary or salty foods.  If you choose to consume alcohol, exercise moderation.  Blueberries, blueberries, blueberries!  A great food to fight inflammation and a great source for antioxidants.

Heart and Brain Awareness – If it’s good for your heart, it’s good for your brain.  There is a correlation between cognitive decline and cardiovascular disease, hypertension, and high blood pressure, and obesity and diabetes.

Talk to Your Doctor – Ask your doctor to ask you about your cognitive health each year during your annual wellness visit or physical.  82% of older adults believe their cognition should be tested annually, yet only 16% are actually getting these tests.

Mind Your Mental Health – Discuss depression with your doctor and manage your stress.  Consider meditation, yoga, or even grown-up coloring books as a way to bring peace and calm into your busy life.

Stop Smoking – There is a direct correlation between Alzheimer’s disease and smoking…enough said.

Continual Learning – Continue to learn new things.  Take a class at a community college or online.  Learn a musical instrument or a language.

Stimulate Your Brain – While not every brain game may have science behind it, many do.  Challenge yourself with puzzles and games and pay special attention to games that exercise your peripheral vision, which is at risk for decline through cognitive impairment.

Socialize – In this day of social media, make sure you interact personally with others.  Social integration is important for brain health.  Volunteer, take dance lessons or join clubs.

The Importance of Sleep – Sound, natural sleep gives your brain a chance to rid itself of toxins.  Remove devices from the bedroom and create a cool and dark environment to promote sleep.  Some sleep aids may actually increase your risk for dementia, so check with your doctor before using medications.

Treat Hearing Loss – There is an increase in the incidence of Alzheimer’s and dementia in those with untreated hearing loss in middle age.  Your brain cannot process what you never heard to begin with.  See a doctor about hearing loss.  There should be no stigma about hearing devices.

Protect Your Brain – As active adults, we are sliding up, down and around something summer and winter.  Seatbelts, seatbelts, seatbelts!   Helmets, helmets, helmets!

And as we wait for the breakthrough, it is also more important than ever to know how to get help. I have been with Mines and Associates for five years now and present a learning session called Alzheimer’s/Dementia A to Z to our client groups.  I am noticing attendees of all ages in these sessions as interest is growing in how we can maintain healthy brains beginning in our 20s and 30s. I am also seeing an increase in those employees who seek coaching on the topic of Alzheimer’s/Dementia through the Employee Assistance Plan benefits that their employers provide.  Mines clients can schedule free one hour sessions with me for dementia coaching as they put together plans to care for aging parents, relatives or friends.

Another organization that I am involved with is also at the forefront of trying to improve the quality of life for those living with all forms of dementia and their family care partners.  I serve as the Volunteer Community Chair for Dementia Friendly Denver, a part of Dementia Friendly America, a not for profit, grassroots, all-volunteer initiative that was introduced at the White House Conference on Aging in 2015.  Our volunteer team is working on eight projects in the greater Denver area and you can check them l am out at dementiafriendlydenver.org. The goal of the projects is to make our community more dementia-friendly and to reduce the stigma surrounding the topic of dementia.  Our team provides a free one-hour learning session to business, government, academic, faith and community groups titled Dementia 101 – Reducing Your Risk.  To schedule a free session for your group, contact me at dementiafriendlycolorado@gmail.com

And please remember that you can still enjoy the holidays if you are caring for family members with dementia.  Just take the “Holiday Lite” approach.  Details don’t need to be extravagant or perfect.  Plan holiday activities and outings to be shorter in length.  Remember that our Lovies wear out faster than we do, as an hour for us is like five hours for them.  Be prepared for upsets due to the disruption of routines and provide rest periods for everyone!

And so, as we enter National Alzheimer’s Awareness Month, most importantly, remember that you are not alone.  Utilizing the dementia resources available through Mines and Associates can help you get organized and become knowledgeable.  In addition, the Alzheimer’s Association provides a 24/7 helpline at 800.272.3900.  And finally, for all of you who are caring for someone with Alzheimer’s disease or another form of dementia, be sure to take care of yourself first!  This will help you provide better care for your Lovies.  I wish you a peaceful holiday season and remember that hope abounds!!!

JJ Jordan

The post National Alzheimer’s Awareness Update 2019 appeared first on MINES and Associates.

MINES Team receiving ADA HEalth Champion designation.

American Diabetes Association 2017 State of Diabetes Breakfast

Last week, MINES attended the annual American Diabetes Association 2017 State of Diabetes Breakfast. While we were there, a few exciting things were happening. One of the best things that was going on was the conversation between local and national companies discussing the state of diabetes, wellness initiatives, employee support programs, and next steps in the fight against diabetes. After a bit of networking, the breakfast opened with a great talk from both the State of Diabetes Committee Chair, Joel Krzan, and the Colorado Lt. Governor, Donna Lynne. HUGE thanks to them and the ADA for all the critical work they do in helping fight Diabetes and fostering awareness and support across the country, not to mention hosting the event!

Lt. Governor Donna Lynne at 2017 ADA Breakfast

ADA

As you all probably are familiar with, the American Diabetes Association is the 2^nd largest employer in Colorado, second only to the federal government. They lead initiatives across the state ranging from awareness campaigns, fundraising events, community service delivery, research funding, and advocacy for those suffering from the disease. You can find out more about the ADA and how you can support their efforts on their website, www.diabetes.org.

Health Champion

MINES Health Champion Award

MINES was also one of a few companies this year to receive the designation of Health Champion from the ADA. This designation recognizes that MINES as a company has met the ADA’s “Healthy Living Criteria.” These criteria cover three distinct but interconnected areas of healthy living including Nutrition and Weight Management, Physical Activity, and Organizational Wellbeing.

MINES is very proud of this designation and recognition of our efforts as we strive to practice what we preach. As an Employee Assistance provider, we are constantly working with our clients to help support the wellbeing of their employees so it was only natural that we strive to create the same focus of employee and organizational wellbeing within our company. Some ways we support these areas include:

Nutrition and Weight Management

• Access to nutrition coaches
• Healthy employee culture encouraging healthy habits and eating
• Access to on-site exercise room

Physical Activity

• Healthy MINES employee events including rock climbing and hiking
• Healthy Lunch events such as Yoga and Zumba activities
• Access to fitness coaches

Organizational Wellbeing

• Wellbeing and resilience training
• Corporate culture focused on work/life balance
• Employee check-ins to gauge stress levels and other issues

The Mind/Body Connection

Patrick Heister talking about the high cost of mental illness and diabetes in the workplace

While we were there our very own COO, Patrick Hiester, had the opportunity to speak. He talked about the often co-occurrence of diabetes and mental health issues including depression and anxiety. He then went on to explain how these conditions can often have a huge cost for individual and an employer in terms of health care costs, lower productivity and work/life imbalance. The key takeaway from Patrick’s presentation was that employers can go a long way in supporting their employees that may have a co-morbid condition by approaching their healthcare in a fully integrated modality and support the physical and mental wellbeing of their employees equally. This could mean having wellbeing programs in place as well as an EAP to help support behavioral wellbeing and also identify systemic issues that may be magnifying any issues that employees may be dealing with in their lives.

Next Steps

Where do we go from here? MINES plans to continue to support both the physical and mental wellbeing of our employees just like we coach our clients to do. We will also continue to support the efforts of the ADA and other great companies and initiatives that mirror our own core wellbeing values.

If you would like to learn more about what you can do to support the ADA, take a look at two of the ADA’s current initiatives; Wellness Lives Here and the upcoming fundraising/awareness event, Tour de Cure.

Wellness Lives Here

As the ADA’s website states “This powerful initiative is designed to inspire and fuel our nation’s healthful habits at work and beyond. With year-round opportunities, Wellness Lives Here™ helps companies, organizations and communities educate and motivate people to adopt healthful habits to reduce the impact of type 2 diabetes and other obesity-related illnesses. For some, it means fewer sick days and higher productivity. For others, it means looking and feeling better. For everyone, the result is empowerment—Americans who are better able to control, delay or prevent Diabetes and related health problems.”

Find out more here: www.wellnessliveshere.org

Tour de Cure

This is a run, ride, walk, or be an “Xtreme Ninja” (obstacle course) event designed to raise awareness in the community, provide research support, and increase advocacy for those suffering from diabetes that may be discriminated against.

Find out more here: http://www.diabetes.org/coloradotourdecure

Thank you!

Finally, another huge thank you to the ADA and everyone that made this event possible. Together we can continue to fight the good fight and spread awareness of these critical wellbeing initiatives to help millions of people across the US and the world. And if you are a company that is looking for a way to support your own employees, please call MINES at 1-800-873-7138 and see how we can work together to make your workforce happier, healthier and more productive.

To your wellbeing,

The MINES Team

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So what exactly is Alzheimer’s disease?  I have been working in the field of cognitive impairment for over 15 years and the number one question I am asked is “What’s the difference between Alzheimer’s and dementia?”  The best answer I can give is that dementia is an “umbrella” term much like the term cancer.  There are many types of cancer and there are many types of dementia as well.  Perhaps the easiest explanation is this….everyone who has Alzheimer’s disease has dementia, but not everyone who has dementia has Alzheimer’s.

Alzheimer’s is, however, the most common type of dementia, accounting for around 70% of all cases.  The hallmark symptom of Alzheimer’s disease is memory loss, particularly short-term memory loss in the early stages.  Vascular dementia (strokes that impair the blood supply to the brain) accounts for around 10% of dementia cases, and then there are other forms of dementia you may have heard of like Lewy Body or Frontotemporal dementia.  Dementia is defined by the Mayo Clinic as a group of symptoms affecting memory, thinking, and social abilities severe enough to interfere with daily functioning.  It is important to note that Alzheimer’s disease is not a mental illness.  It is a disease just as we know cardiovascular disease, diabetes, or cancer to be physical illnesses.   And while there is a certain extent of memory loss that is a normal part of aging, the memory loss and other symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease are not a part of normal aging.   Toward the end of this blog, I will list the ten warning signs for Alzheimer’s disease and attempt to differentiate between what is normal and what could be a red flag.

Why is this subject important to me?  Aside from the huge public health and expense issue this presents for our country (and every other country in the world by the way), it affected my family personally.  Three of our four parents in my immediate family were diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease within a two year period.  The disease changed everything for my parents, my family, and of course, for me and my priorities.  My loved ones have now been gone for a few years, having lived for 16 years, 14 years, and 11 years with the disease.  People ask me if I am relieved to be out from under the burdens of the disease.   I tell them I am just warming up and will not rest until we find an end to Alzheimer’s.   In the meantime, my quest is to help as many other families as possible who are dealing with this cruel disease.

A brief history of the disease

It might be a good time to switch gears and pause for a brief history lesson regarding Alzheimer’s.  The disease was discovered in 1906 by a German doctor named Alois Alzheimer.  He was presented with a 51 year old female we respectfully refer to simply as “Frau Auguste D.”  Her husband brought her to Dr. Alzheimer’s clinic when she displayed irrational behaviors.  Back then, it was usually, “off to Belleview for you” but Dr. Alzheimer was not buying it.  He cared for her at his clinic until her death three years later and then discovered the disease during her autopsy. Without going into “Brain 101” too deeply in this blog, excess build-ups of two proteins (amyloid beta and tau) are present in Alzheimer’s patients.  Now you may have the same reaction I have every time I tell the story of Frau August D…1906!!!!! What? It is 2015, why has this not been cured by now?

The disease is very complicated and it was only in the late 1980s that the scientific community realized that younger onset (diagnosis under 65) and regular onset (over 65) were the same disease.  Several research and diagnosis breakthroughs have occurred in the past decade and while there is no treatment or cure that stops the disease as of today, I have never been more optimistic that a breakthrough is possible.  Thousands of doctors and scientists around the world are working on the issue as we speak.

The high cost of the disease

You may not know that Alzheimer’s is the most expensive disease in our nation.  This year, the cost of caring for Alzheimer’s patients will be $226 billion (yes, with a “b”).  $153 billion of that will be Medicare and Medicaid costs for care of Alzheimer’s patients.   With 10,000 Baby Boomers turning 65 everyday, we must put an end to Alzheimer’s.  1 in 9 of us will develop the disease past the age of 65.  Nearly half of us will have the disease at age 85.

The workplace stats are equally disturbing.  85% of caregivers under 65 are employed.  Alzheimer’s disease costs American business more than $60 billion annually, both in costs related to care and in lost productivity.  60% of working Alzheimer’s caregivers report that they have had to come in late, leave early, or take time off.  20% had to take a leave of absence.  13% had to go from full time to part time and 15% had to give up working entirely.

The caregivers

So I mentioned that November is Alzheimer’s Awareness and Caregiver month.  Who are these caregivers exactly?  There are over 15 million of us in the US.  This year we will provide more than 17 billion hours of unpaid care.  You History Channel buffs might think that ice road trucking is the most dangerous profession on earth, but I would submit that caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s disease or another form of dementia is the most challenging.  Caregivers must navigate between making sure their loved one is protected from a variety of dangers (60% of Alzheimer’s patients will wander during their journey with the disease) and preserving their dignity.  These are our parents, our spouses, our friends, and treating them like children is never appropriate although their behaviors may certainly test our patience.

As the person moves through Early, Middle, and Late Stage Alzheimer’s, behaviors can become more and more challenging.  Just as we caregivers learn to handle one behavior, it disappears and another one emerges.  Caregivers take lousy care of themselves due to stress and worry.  They balance medical, legal, financial, and family dynamic issues that are complicated and emotional.  74% of caregivers report being somewhat to very concerned about their own health.  So…if you know a caregiver of a person with dementia, give them a hug in November, better yet, offer to help them pick up groceries, rake leaves, or treat them to a spa day; they will be eternally grateful.

The patients

You also may not know that women are at the epicenter of Alzheimer’s disease.  2/3 of Alzheimer’s patients are women.  The prevailing thought has been that this is because women live longer than men and the number one risk factor is age.  New studies are underway to further investigate whether there are other factors that may make women more predisposed to the disease.  Over 60% of Alzheimer’s caregivers are women as well.  Perhaps the most startling statistic is that a woman over 60 is twice as likely to develop Alzheimer’s as breast cancer.

10 warning signs of Alzheimer’s

So now…as promised and if you are still reading this!… what are the common symptoms or early warning signs of Alzheimer’s?  The Alzheimer’s Association lists ten of them.  I will mention them all briefly and give a few examples from my own family experiences.

1. Memory loss – not just forgetting the name of some movie star in an old film, but the type of memory loss that disrupts daily life and causes people to live in “sticky-note-ville.” Alzheimer’s erases short-term memory first so recently learned information may not be maintained like it was before.
2. Changes in planning and problem solving – We all mess up a detail now and then but we are able to adjust and work through the issue. Many early-stage Alzheimer’s patients do very well as long as they stick to a routine.  When problems arise, however, their ability to compensate is limited.
3. Difficulty completing familiar tasks – We’re not talking about forgetting how to reprogram the thermostat and having to refer to the manual, we are talking about commonly performed tasks. An example would be my Mom who started taking 30 minutes to unload the dishwasher due to confusion.
4. Confusion with time or place – We all forget what day it is occasionally but get ourselves back on track quickly. An Alzheimer’s symptom example might be someone who goes to the same activity each week but now cannot remember the route to take to get there.
5. Trouble understanding visual images and spatial relationships – In other words, Alzheimer’s patients do not see things the way we do. They may suffer from a lack of peripheral vision (which is why driving becomes an issue) and may not be able to identify how close an object is to them.
6. Problems with speaking or writing words – We all forget a word occasionally but we are quick to substitute another one that makes sense in the context of our conversation. My Dad, however, would become very frustrated when he couldn’t think of any words to describe his watch or wallet.
7. Misplacing things and losing the ability to retrace steps – We all lose things and if you find your lost keys in the pocket of the jacket you wore two days ago, that makes sense. If you find them in the freezer, that could be a sign that something is wrong.
8. Decreased or poor judgment – We all make stupid decisions from time to time – to err is human as they say. But Alzheimer’s patients may lose the basic judgment to know when a scammer is taking advantage of them or they may buy an expensive item they simply can’t afford.
9. Withdrawal from work or social activities – The person may be “hiding out” to avoid family, friends or work associates from noticing that they are having cognitive issues. We all “check out” occasionally but a noticeable difference in someone’s social interaction may be a cause for concern.
10. Changes in mood and personality – We are not talking about the typical “set in my ways” or “you kids get off my lawn” type crankiness. We are talking about changes in a person’s demeanor that are significantly different and unusual compared to their baseline behavior.

It’s time to lift the veil on Alzheimer’s

I could write for hours on this subject (in case you can’t tell by now) but I want to close by urging anyone reading this who has a friend or loved one with warning signs to see a doctor immediately to discuss symptoms in the context of their overall health.  Many people are hesitant to discuss the subject but there are three reasons to do so.  First, it might not be Alzheimer’s at all, there are many other conditions that present symptoms that may be similar.  Secondly, if it is Alzheimer’s, perhaps a clinical trial would be appropriate; the care during these trials is excellent and the scientific community really needs participants.  And finally, a diagnosis of Alzheimer’s allows the patient to express their wishes while they still can and it also allows family members to become knowledgeable about the disease, plan for the future, and learn the valuable caregiving skills they will need to maintain the highest quality of life for all involved throughout the journey.  In other words, you want and need to know…no matter what.

I hope this information and my story helps draw attention to this disease and an appreciation for caregivers during the month of November.  Please help spread the word during National Alzheimer’s Awareness and Caregiver month.   And please know that we here at MINES and Associates recognize the family and workplace pressures of having a loved one with Alzheimer’s.  Help, education, and coaching is available for employees who are balancing their responsibilities at home and at work.

And, oh yea, ski and snowboard season is upon us….be sure you and your friends and family wear helmets – your brain is your most precious and irreplaceable asset!

JJ Jordan

Associate, MINES and Associates

Family Caregiver

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Often times, people who step into a caregiving role for one reason or another, are inexperienced in this critical role. There are a lot of unanswered questions: How do you talk to someone who has just been diagnosed? How do you support them in the best possible way? And one of the toughest questions: how do you take care of yourself through all of it? It is natural to want to help your family and friends, especially when one of them has been diagnosed with a serious disease like cancer, these are people that you love and cherish. In order to help them most effectively it is important to go into a caregiving role with specific goals and expectations in mind.

What to say to a recently diagnosed loved one?

So what do you say to a loved one that has been recently diagnosed with cancer or another life threatening disease? The answer is, surprisingly, not much. To avoid being overbearing it is important that you make sure your loved one knows that you are there for them but only as much as they need or want. Educate yourself about the diagnoses and the type of cancer/disease that they have so that you can understand what they are going through. Avoid using that knowledge to offer unwanted advice by insisting they try this or that, just because you read about it online. Oftentimes the best thing you can do is simply spend time with them and share their feelings by offering a shoulder to cry on. Avoid being judgmental or being overly optimistic by saying things like, “you’ll be fine,” or “you’ll get better, don’t worry about it.” These sorts of things can make them feel like you don’t actually understand the gravity of the situation or understand their feelings; instead, simply assure them that you are there for them.

Here are some “do says” and “don’t says” from cancer.net to get you started:

Some options to help show your care and support:

• I’m sorry this has happened to you.
• If you ever feel like talking, I’m here to listen.
• What are you thinking of doing, and how can I help?
• I care about you.
• I’m thinking about you.

Some examples of phrases that are unhelpful:

• I know just how you feel.
• I know just what you should do.
• I’m sure you’ll be fine.
• Don’t worry.
• How long do you have?

Source:  http://bit.ly/1RuhQVg

Support them

Care-giving can be a long, difficult road, so it is important that you are prepared and know the best, most practical ways to help and support your loved ones. First, as mentioned above, it is critical that you research their cancer diagnoses, treatment courses, side-effects, and anything else that you may be concerned about. This will help you be a more effective support source. Once you have a better understanding of the situation you can help your loved one seek out the best treatment, with the direction of their doctor of course. Rely on the experts but use your education to ask good questions to manage expectations on treatments and to know when a second opinion on things may be appropriate.

Aside from helping with the logistics of care, you can also make a huge difference by offering help in other areas of their lives. To make things easier, instead of simply telling them that you are there if they need anything, take the burden off of them and offer to do specific things they may need. These can be things like offering to walk their dog, do the dishes, go to the grocery store or pharmacy for them; be specific and timely and you will be a huge help to them without being overwhelming.

Make sure that you are truly present for them. Offering company and a way to take their mind off of their condition is also critical. While nothing you can say or do will cure them or make their treatments any easier, having someone that is there to talk things through and to gain emotional and spiritual support from can make all the difference. It is also important to try and take the attention off their condition from time to time, while supporting their wellbeing. Think about exercising with them to the extent that they are able, make time to watch a movie or play a game together, or do whatever other activities they are able to enjoy without over-exerting themselves. And most importantly try and make them laugh. Being light, silly, and breaking the serious tone can work wonders by creating fond memories together and maintaining a positive outlook day to day. Another important goal to all of this is to make things as normal for them as possible. Do not treat them as though they are fragile creatures. They are the same person that they have always been to you; make sure to remind them of that.

Support yourself

Being a caregiver or go-to person for someone with a chronic illness, especially for a loved one, can be extremely draining, both physically and emotionally. It will be critical that you take care of yourself as much as you take care of your loved one. The most common areas were caretakers’ wellbeing is affected include; trouble sleeping or finding time to sleep, poor eating habits and lack in meal preparation time resulting in less healthy diet, lack of time to exercise or lack of motivation to be active, being unable to stay in bed when sick, and also the failure to keep up on their own medical needs and doctors appointments. All of these can be detrimental to your personal wellbeing so it is imperative that you take steps to limit your stress and maximize your self-care as much as you are able.  Some ways that you can manage this include asking for help. Don’t be afraid to ask others for assistance now and again. Be specific in how they can help you and let them decide what they are willing and able to do for you. Even little things like someone willing to cook a dinner for you or the one you care for once a week can make a big difference.

Sleep is another huge concern. Remember that if you are sleep deprived you not only become a less effective support-giver, but you actually can become a danger to yourself and the ones you care for. Make sure that you are getting adequate sleep. Ways to help with this include setting a maximum amount of time that you can spend with your ill loved one. You may feel the need to be by their side 24/7 but that is just not realistic. Remember that you are human and need to take care of your own needs as well, as much as you would like to be superman. Set sleep goals and take a nap or go to sleep early if you are feeling tired.

Do not feel guilty if you need to re-energize by taking time for yourself. It is not a selfish thing to still engage in your favorite hobbies, social activities, and exercise routines. Setting goals is a good way to accomplish this. List them out if you have to but make sure that you are still striving for things in your own life. Set certain exercise goals, or goals for a certain number of hours of sleep each night. By making time for yourself it will not only give your mind a break, but will make you a more effective and energized source of support when you reconvene with your sick loved one.

Don’t forget that while you may be thinking about your loved ones’ care and doctors visits, do not let yourself forgo your own care. Annual exams with your physician, dentist visits, prescription regimens, and any other care you normally undergo is still just as important as it was before your loved one was diagnosed. Aside from just being important to maintaining your own health, seeing your doctor also affords you an opportunity to seek their professional opinion on how to limit stress, improve your diet, and otherwise limit the impact of the caretaker issues that you may be dealing with.

Finally, remember that you are not the only one that is going through this dire situation. There are many other people that may be in the exact same situation as you. Don’t be afraid to seek out social groups either locally or online. Be open-minded to going to a support group to connect with others that can lend an ear or even a helping hand. It also helps to talk with people who have experience dealing with the same issues as they can understand what you are going through better than most others and could even be the source of some meaningful new friendships.

Saying goodbye

Through this whole process it is important to accept the fact that some people get better and some are not able to recover. Your loved one may be on the road to recovery and will one day be all better; but, in some cases death is inevitable and it’s important to be prepared to say goodbye. Grief, when dealing with a long term illness, is a lot different than that of a sudden death, primarily because there is period of time where there is an expectation of death. In their book “Saying Goodbye,” Dr. Barbara Okun and Dr. Joseph Nowinski detail the grieving process from diagnosis to death in 5 phases:

Phase 1: Crisis

This stage begins with the diagnosis of the serious or terminal disease. A crisis is created in the lives of those involved. Anxiety and fear are the most prevalent emotions during this phase. The best thing to do in this phase is to remove as much of the unknown as possible by researching the disease itself, treatment options, and what to expect throughout the rest of the process.

Phase 2: Unity

This stage is when the person who was diagnosed and their friends and family accept the situation and begin to come together and define their role going forth. It is important to define what the needs/capabilities of each person is and be open and honest with all involved.

Phase 3: Upheaval

Upheaval occurs as the life changes brought on by the situation begin to create issues and difficulties with in the social circle of family and friends. Frustrations, guilt, and resentment can surface creating animosity between friends and family members. During this stage it is important to maintain open communication and try your best to let go of negative feelings as they arise.

Phase 4: Resolution

This stage occurs once the ill person has reached a point where recovery is no longer an option and death becomes a reality. Family members and friends begin to accept the reality of the situation. This is where the real grief starts and various people will have a stronger reaction than others. It is important to let everyone grieve in their own way and not pass judgment. This phase is important in that it may be the last chance to resolve issues between yourself and the dying, recall good memories of the times you spent together, and to say any last words you have before they pass. Seize the opportunity when you can.

Phase 5: Renewal

The final stage begins after the person has passed on, usually at their funeral. This can be an extremely confusing time as everyone grapples with the reality of what happened and their own mixed emotions. But this is the time where you can begin to try and focus on the good times you spent with them, and decide how you will remember them and honor their life in a positive light.

Source:  Saying Goodbye by Barbara Okun, Ph.D. and Joseph Nowinski, Ph.D. by arrangement with Berkley Publishing Group, a member of Penguin Group (USA), Inc, Copyright © 2011 by Harvard University.

These descriptions are just a brief overview. For a full description of the phases please visit http://www.helpguide.org/harvard/saying-goodbye.htm

Whew, okay heavy subject I know, but it is one that we could all face at some point in our lives. If you or someone you know is dealing with this in their lives and needs help, please seek out support groups online or at a local cancer center, or consider seeking professional counseling. If you have an employee assistance program through your employer, it can be a great resource that can provide guidance, help finding information, and referrals to counseling.

To Your Wellbeing,

-Nic Mckane

Resources:

American Cancer Society

1-800-227-2345

http://www.cancer.org/index

Family Caregiver Alliance

https://caregiver.org/taking-care-you-self-care-family-caregivers

Cancer Care

http://www.cancercare.org/

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