There are some things that all humans have in common. We all love. We all die. And, often as a result of the combination of those two things, we all grieve.

Despite grief being an emotional experience that we all share, awareness of it continues to be lacking. Certain types of grief are stigmatized or taboo to talk about. Other types of grief may be so large and painful that, when we see someone going through it, we feel helpless – we don’t know what to say.

August 30th is Grief Awareness Day. We’d like to take the opportunity to spread important information about grief, including how it affects us, what it can look like, and how to offer support to someone who’s going through it.

What are the different types of grief?

You may not have known that there are many different types of grief, which means that grief can look a multitude of different ways. Many people are familiar with typical grief, but sometimes, grief doesn’t look like you’d expect.

Officially, some experts say there are 3 types of grief (typical, complicated, and anticipatory) while others list 5 (the aforementioned 2, as well as acute grief and disenfranchised grief). Mental health experts also discuss traumatic grief, which is a type of complicated grief.

Here, we’re going over each of these 6 types of grief and how they can show up.

Typical grief

Typical grief, often called “normal” or “common” grief, is what most people think of when they hear the word “grief.” It’s the emotional response that follows a significant loss, usually the death of a loved one. This type of grief is marked by a range of emotions, including sadness, anger, confusion, and even relief, depending on the circumstances. These feelings might come and go, or they may persist for weeks or months as you adjust to life without the person you’ve lost.

However, it’s important to note that while this type of grief is often labeled “normal,” there’s really no single “normal” way to grieve. Everyone’s experience with grief is unique, and there’s no set timeline for how long it should last or what it should look like. The idea of “normal” grief can be misleading, as it implies that other forms of grief are somehow less valid or expected. In reality, all types of grief are “normal” responses to loss — each person grieves in their own way and at their own pace.

Complicated grief

Complicated grief is when the feelings of grief are intense, long-lasting, and disruptive to your daily life. Unlike typical grief, which tends to diminish (albeit slowly) over time, complicated grief persists and can even get worse. This type of grief can get in the way of your ability to function in everyday activities, which can leave you feeling stuck and unable to move forward.

For example, someone experiencing complicated grief might find themselves unable to return to work or engage in their regular activities months after a loss. They may be consumed by thoughts of the person they lost, struggle with intense longing, or even start to feel like life is meaningless without their loved one. This overwhelming grief often requires professional support to help you process and manage the emotions. That doesn’t mean that complicated grief is “wrong” or a mental illness – just that you might need some extra support.

Anticipatory grief

Anticipatory grief hits you before a loss actually happens, typically when you know that a significant loss is coming, like a terminal illness diagnosis. This type of grief allows you to start processing the impending loss in advance, which can sometimes help with the adjustment afterward. However, it can also be an emotional rollercoaster, because you might experience grief in waves while the person is still alive.

For example, if your partner has been diagnosed with a terminal illness, you might begin to grieve the loss of your future together before they even die. You might feel a mix of sadness, fear, and even guilt for grieving while they’re still alive. This type of grief can be very complex to deal with, and it can get difficult to grieve while you’re still providing care for your loved one.

Acute grief

Acute grief is the intense, immediate reaction to a loss, often experienced in the first days and weeks afterward. This type of grief is characterized by shock, disbelief, and a deep emotional pain that can feel overwhelming. Acute grief is a normal part of the grieving process, but it can be incredibly difficult to navigate as you’re suddenly confronted with the reality of your loss.

For example, after receiving the news of a sudden death, you might feel numb or disoriented, or even be in denial about what happened. You could also experience physical symptoms like trouble sleeping, loss of appetite, or fatigue. Acute grief is often the rawest form of grief, but it typically begins to lessen as you start to process your emotions and adapt to your new reality.

Disenfranchised grief

Disenfranchised grief is a type of grief that isn’t openly acknowledged, socially accepted, or publicly mourned. This can happen when the loss is seen as less significant or when societal norms dictate that your grief isn’t valid. It can also happen when you feel like you’re not allowed to express your love or grief openly. As a result, you might feel isolated or unsupported in your grief because others don’t recognize it as legitimate.

An example of disenfranchised grief could be the loss of a pet, a miscarriage, or the end of a relationship that others didn’t see as serious. People who were in relationships that were kept secret can also experience disenfranchised grief. After these losses, people might downplay your grief or tell you to “move on,” which can make it much harder for you to process and heal. This type of grief can be particularly painful because it often leaves you feeling like you have to hide your emotions.

Traumatic grief

Traumatic grief is a type of complicated grief that can happen when the loss is sudden, violent, or unexpected. This type of grief is often accompanied by symptoms of trauma, including flashbacks, nightmares, and severe anxiety. The combination of grief and trauma can make this type of grief extremely challenging, and it can sometimes lead to long-term psychological distress.

For example, losing a loved one in a car accident or to a violent crime can lead to traumatic grief. You might find yourself reliving the events surrounding the death or feeling an intense fear that something similar could happen again. The trauma aspect of this grief can complicate the healing process, and you may need professional support to get through it.

How to support someone who is grieving

Most of us aren’t aware of the different ways grief can present. When someone you know has experienced a loss, you might offer your condolences – but how can you truly support them emotionally? And how can you express your empathy when their grief is more complicated or acute?

Here are some tips.

  1. Listen without judgment: Sometimes, the best support you can offer is a listening ear. Allow the person to share their feelings and experiences without interrupting or offering solutions. Just being present can be incredibly comforting.
  2. Validate their feelings: Acknowledge that their grief is real and significant, no matter what form it takes. This is especially important if they are experiencing disenfranchised grief, where their loss might not be openly recognized or supported by others. Let them know that it’s okay to feel whatever they’re feeling.
  3. Normalize their experience: Remind them that grief is a natural response to loss and that there’s no “right” way to grieve. Whether they’re feeling angry, numb, or devastated — all of these emotions are valid. Emphasize that everyone’s grieving process is unique.
  4. Encourage professional support: Let them know that it’s okay to seek help from a therapist or counselor. Grief can be overwhelming, and professional support can provide tools and strategies to navigate the healing process. Normalize the idea that going to therapy is a healthy way to process grief — we don’t have to go through it alone.
  5. Offer practical help: Sometimes, grief can make it hard to manage everyday tasks. Offering to help with meals, errands, or childcare can alleviate some of the burden. This allows them to focus on their emotional well-being without the added stress of daily responsibilities.

Grief is one of the many things that your MINES Employee Assistance Program (EAP) can support you with. Give us a call – our licensed providers offer free and confidential counseling for grief and many other life situations you may be experiencing.

 

To your wellbeing,

The MINES Team